2 days down, 19 to go…

woman_holding_fruits_compressedDay 1 was OK. I was hungover from a party the night before, so there’s no telling if my misery was because of the cleanse or because of the hangover. I just felt exhausted. And I was DYING for my coffee, not just in the morning but all day long.

Day 2 was a Saturday so I didn’t have work to distract me. And I was M.I.S.E.R.A.B.L.E. I never realized how many food commercials there are on TV until I can’t eat any of those foods. Even if I wouldn’t normally CHOOSE to eat them, when all I can eat are vegetables and fruits, an ad for Golden Corral or Subway looks like heaven on a plate. Dammit.

To give you an idea of what I’m eating, it’s called the Standard Process Purification Program. Here’s the Program Guide that tells me what I can and can’t eat.

In addition to those restrictions, there are a TON of supplements to be taken. First thing in the morning, I take 7 SP Cleanse pills, 1 Gymnema pill, 2 fish oil pills, 2 Vitamin D pills. In my shakes, I add 1 Tbsp whole food fiber, 1 Tbsp SP Pea Protein (dairy free), and 2 rounded scoops of SP Complete, which is supposed to add my nutrients for the day.

I’m supposed to drink a shake before each meal or as a meal replacement, so let’s go with 3 a day. I’m also supposed to take the 7 Cleanse pills 3x a day and the other pills 2x a day with the exception of the Vitamin D, which I only take in the morning.

Got all that?

Yesterday I was snacking on carrots and cucumbers like a rabbit, except I don’t like carrots. So I added red wine vinegar and lemon pepper seasoning to them and that made them…OK. For lunch I  had a salad of spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, red peppers, avocado, with my red wine vinegar/lemon pepper “dressing” on top. It actually tasted pretty good, probably because it finally felt like I was eating real food. For my afternoon snack I gave my new juicer a whirl. Threw in carrots, tomatoes, cucumber, and red pepper and served it over ice. It tasted like…some odd combo of all of those things and nothing at the same time. It definitely didn’t resolve any cravings or hunger. For dinner I did the salad things again, but added a side of quinoa for the hell of it. Oh, and I drank about a gallon of water all day, half of it coconut water (organic, no sugar added) and half of it regular filtered water.

I was craving salt yesterday, and carbs. I would have sold my soul for a bag of Stacy’s Pita Chips, and later in the day for some sushi.

RestroomsTo top all of that off, the “cleanse” part of this thing finally kicked in yesterday, so yay for me.

Needless to say, I was a wee bit irritable on Day 2. Running between the bathroom and the kitchen all day doesn’t set the tone for a great day.

Ironically, when searching for an image for this post, I used the term “irritable.” All the images that came up were either a person in a shitty mood (no pun intended), or was about irritable bowel syndrome. So that seemed appropriate for the day anyway.

And so we continue with Day 3…

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